


I Cannot Love my Baby Boy

by InkBlot_the_3rd



Category: Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-06
Updated: 2010-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 08:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2726390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkBlot_the_3rd/pseuds/InkBlot_the_3rd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A repost of an old fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Cannot Love my Baby Boy

Veser, was never supposed to have existed. There had been no deep desire to bare children, especially half human children, and if that disgusting creature hadn't given me that fake promise to give me back my pelt then that snarling heap of a thing would have never come form my loins.

He never had a chance at love.

Since his birth he was nothing more then an object a thing. There where moments, small fleeting moments, where I would try to love him, try to find that bond between mother and child.

But there wasn't one.

It was like a mother snake and her eggs. She mates, lays them, watches over them, and when they hatch off she goes, letting them fend for herself. That was how it was supposed to be. Veser should have been able to do that from that start, had his father been a male selkie. But he wasn't, he was mushy, weak, toxic human that only stunted the boys growth and turned him into so some monster that could barely survive.

He was a joke, a mistake, a curse.

An abomination.

 

I had never liked children all that much, even when I was just a pup newborns annoyed me. I couldn't help it, I just found no cuteness or love there. The two who creates me where distant, but in the same pack so I saw them now and again. Like the others I learned from experience. 

But I learned my last lesson too late.

 

Never swim to close to the iron shores.

 

The water was tainted, it made me weak, I couldn't fight the current. Sucked in and no where to go, I was forced to take on the form of the human, hoping to find some ship to take me far out into the sea. For weeks I searched, longing to find that blessed vessel that could take me to the place I had made home. 

Then, he found me.

It was just a friendly flirt when it started, he was nice, I was bored, and hell, humans where known as breeders, why not have a little fun? That's all it was supposed to be, having a little fun with a little human, twisting one around my finger until he snaps. Except, he snapped the wrong way. I didn't notice until it was too late, three weeks of fucking and a call to him that I was leaving town next Thursday ended up with me going home to a ransacked apartment and a very smug looking man sitting on my couch.

I was furious, I stared at him, I slapped him, I wanted nothing more then to wring that pale neck of his. But his words, those stupid, annoying, patronising words that would haunt me for years to come, they fell out of his mouth seconds before I hit him, causing my hand to freeze inches away from his retched face.

"You can't go back without your little coat, can you?" He was grinning up at me, something almost inhuman twinkling behind his eyes. I stepped back, uncertain, not understanding why he would even imply that he knew what I was. After all we never really mated, there was always protection, I ever bit him, and he never heard me s-

My eyes widened , suddenly remembering a little more then a week ago. I had been cleaning some dishes off in his apartment, he had been playing up the romance and cooked us dinner, it was the least I could do to repay him. He had stepped outside to put out the trash. The window above the sink was cracked open, letting a small breeze in. Without even realizing it I had started to hum, a human that no human could ever admit. It had been peaceful, and I had wondered where he had gone when all of a sudden a crash from outside the window startled me. Dropping the sud covered plate I wrenched the dust covered thing open, only to find no one outside. At the time I had thought that it was simple an animal, but when I saw that gleam I knew it was him. He had heard that maddening song, and now he wouldn't stop until he could have me.

 

Promises where made on that horrid night, we where to be wed for a few years, then I could leave. He seemed to think I would fall in love with him, but that never happened. The sex lost all it's pleasure, and he tried to dominate me, to force his love and passion inside. But I could feel none of it, it all made me so sick, just like the iron city I was now trapped inside.

 

Time passed, and the time came where I was to have my pelt back. He asked for a child in exchange for it, thinking I wouldn't bare to leave my baby for the sea.

Oh how stupid he was.

 

The only time I actually came close to loving Veser was when he was still inside of me. He was my golden ticket to leaving this place, and I did everything to make sure he would be a healthy bouncing baby boy, hoping that if h turned out fantastically I would still get that goddamn pelt. When he was born, I knew my work had been for nothing.

He was ugly in human terms, however even in fey terms he was rather unattractive. His eyes where much too large and much too green, and he had bitten the doctor when she held him. Three sharp nubs that would become three sharp teeth later on lined the top of hi mouth, and the nurses thought it was so odd how he was already teething. His heath in the first years of his life where horrible, the iron that lined the walls of the city made him so weak. He's catch just about every cold or virus that float around, and was hospitalized more then once. I was always told what a fighter he was, and ho w lucky he was to have such a supportive mother that always waits for her child in the waiting room even though the only reason I was there was to avoid his drunk of a father.

When the human had became aware that his son was not the bundle of joy he had wished for to make some weird American Dream family, he had quickly picked up drinking with his friends. At first it had just been drinking with Lee, but soon even Lee didn't know where his friend had gone every night for 5 to 12. There was a period of time where I wouldn't see he for weeks, Veser slowly started to get stronger and I'd search the apartment for any hint as to where my pelt was.

He had spanked Veser a little too hard when he caught me looking around after he came home a little too early one night, smelling of rum and vomit. It was then I realized he feared me. He knew I was not human, and apparently thought I had some magical powers that could kill him is I was proved a little too much. So in turn he took to beat the shit out of our poor puppet of a son for nineteen years. Never once did I lift a finger to stop it, never once did I tell him I was sorry. The only time he would see me get involved was to bandage him up, or show him how to bandage himself up, or to take him to the hospital. There where never any plans made to escape, and there where never any changes of love.

He was just a puppet, a poor misshapen unlucky unloved puppet who I could never love even if I tried.


End file.
